Sunday was a very rough day. I had memories of dad looked when he was in the Kewanee Nursing home van. Someone had dressed him in a shirt that was too little. His belly was sticking out and they could barely get the seat belt around him. That sight will haunt me forever. It was a warm day and we had so much to do to clean out his room and then get to Kewanee to see him.
I am having some guilty feelings that I was not there when he died. Like I said, they called me after 1 am the next Sunday Morning and said he had passed. I didn't do anything about it on Sunday. I waited until Monday. So I never got to see him. I have dreams that it really wasn't dad that died and he is still sitting alone in the nursing home.
I miss my mom and dad very much. I miss their guidance, although at the time they gave it, I didn't feel like following their advice. Just to hear their voices again would be wonderful!
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Harold passed away August 17, 2008
I can't believe that I didn't keep up with this blog. Here it is, January 13, 2009 and I just noticed that I didn't finish the story about my dad, William Harold Perry.
The easiest way to fill this in will be to copy and paste emails that I wrote at the time. I will briefly say that I really miss my dad and it was sad the way he spent his last days of his life. He was very paranoid at the nursing home. He thought people were out to get him. One time he called his brother, Buster, and said that the police were outside his window and trying to get in. He said he was barracading himself in his room. Uncle Buster called the police and they called the nursing home to inform them what was going on. Dad had closed his door and put things in front of it. At first I didn't understand why Buster didn't just call the nursing home but he didn't have time to stop and look up the number. So I don't blame him for calling. I'll write more about that later.
One thing I did want to mention was how obsessed Dad was about the Exit signs. He told me that they should have arrows on them to show exactly where the exit was at. I am very observant about those signs now. Yes, they do have them up in places but some don't point to the exact way to go. In case of a fire, you need to know exactly which way to go. So whenever I see those signs, I think of Dad.
To make a long story short, Dad started getting violent and hitting nurses. We had to take him to another, more secure nursing home. The day that we took him to the new nursing home, he had lost the muscle strength in his legs. The night before, I was there and he had walked out of the nursing home twice. When he walked out when I was there at the nurses' station. They had put a sheet over the door at the end of the hall so Dad couldn't see it. But he was able to get behind the sheet and push the door open. When we ran down the hall to get him, the sheet had caught under the door when it shut and we couldn't get to the handle. Once we opened the door, Dad was 10 feet away from the door. The 3 nurses that were with me took him by the arms and told him to walk back in. He went quietly to his room and they sat him down in his chair. I sat there not knowing what to say. I finally asked Dad why he did it. He looked at me and said, "Audrey was walking next to me, on my arm. Did you see her?" That was when I knew the end was near. As I said, the next day, he was "dead" weight. He couldn't put weight on his legs. At over 220 lbs. it now took 3 nurses to help him move. They took him to the new nursing home in a van. They didn't bring the handicapped van because they were told that Dad was able to walk. When they questioned why they were told that he could walk, we all said in unison that he could last night.
We wheeled dad to the side door and Dad said he wanted to go back to his room. We had to persuade him to go and I told him he was going to get help. He finally decided to go. It took 5 people pushing and pulling to get him into the van. It is a sight I will never forget. They buckled him up with a seatbelt that barely went around his belly. They had him dressed in pants that didn't fit and a striped polyester shirt that was too little and he look very unconfortable. It made me cry. They were going to give us a few days to clean out his room, but I had just been there the night before and then that day, Sunday August 10th. We decided to take everything with us. They were able to load his big chair up in the van so that helped. We grabbed all of his clothes, his lamp, pictures, and personal stuff and put them in our van. It took us about 15 minutes then we went to Royal Oaks in Kewanee where they took dad. Then we had to decide what we were going to take in there and what we were going to take home. We found Dad sitting in his chair in front of the nurses' station. That is where he stayed the whole week before he died. I don't think he ever spent a night in his bed there. At around 1 a.m. the next Sunday, Dad passed away.
When we went to get his stuff on Monday, one of the nurse's stopped us and told us that dad had told her he was sorry for the way he had been acting and it really wasn't the way that he was. I found that comforting. I will write much more later.
The easiest way to fill this in will be to copy and paste emails that I wrote at the time. I will briefly say that I really miss my dad and it was sad the way he spent his last days of his life. He was very paranoid at the nursing home. He thought people were out to get him. One time he called his brother, Buster, and said that the police were outside his window and trying to get in. He said he was barracading himself in his room. Uncle Buster called the police and they called the nursing home to inform them what was going on. Dad had closed his door and put things in front of it. At first I didn't understand why Buster didn't just call the nursing home but he didn't have time to stop and look up the number. So I don't blame him for calling. I'll write more about that later.
One thing I did want to mention was how obsessed Dad was about the Exit signs. He told me that they should have arrows on them to show exactly where the exit was at. I am very observant about those signs now. Yes, they do have them up in places but some don't point to the exact way to go. In case of a fire, you need to know exactly which way to go. So whenever I see those signs, I think of Dad.
To make a long story short, Dad started getting violent and hitting nurses. We had to take him to another, more secure nursing home. The day that we took him to the new nursing home, he had lost the muscle strength in his legs. The night before, I was there and he had walked out of the nursing home twice. When he walked out when I was there at the nurses' station. They had put a sheet over the door at the end of the hall so Dad couldn't see it. But he was able to get behind the sheet and push the door open. When we ran down the hall to get him, the sheet had caught under the door when it shut and we couldn't get to the handle. Once we opened the door, Dad was 10 feet away from the door. The 3 nurses that were with me took him by the arms and told him to walk back in. He went quietly to his room and they sat him down in his chair. I sat there not knowing what to say. I finally asked Dad why he did it. He looked at me and said, "Audrey was walking next to me, on my arm. Did you see her?" That was when I knew the end was near. As I said, the next day, he was "dead" weight. He couldn't put weight on his legs. At over 220 lbs. it now took 3 nurses to help him move. They took him to the new nursing home in a van. They didn't bring the handicapped van because they were told that Dad was able to walk. When they questioned why they were told that he could walk, we all said in unison that he could last night.
We wheeled dad to the side door and Dad said he wanted to go back to his room. We had to persuade him to go and I told him he was going to get help. He finally decided to go. It took 5 people pushing and pulling to get him into the van. It is a sight I will never forget. They buckled him up with a seatbelt that barely went around his belly. They had him dressed in pants that didn't fit and a striped polyester shirt that was too little and he look very unconfortable. It made me cry. They were going to give us a few days to clean out his room, but I had just been there the night before and then that day, Sunday August 10th. We decided to take everything with us. They were able to load his big chair up in the van so that helped. We grabbed all of his clothes, his lamp, pictures, and personal stuff and put them in our van. It took us about 15 minutes then we went to Royal Oaks in Kewanee where they took dad. Then we had to decide what we were going to take in there and what we were going to take home. We found Dad sitting in his chair in front of the nurses' station. That is where he stayed the whole week before he died. I don't think he ever spent a night in his bed there. At around 1 a.m. the next Sunday, Dad passed away.
When we went to get his stuff on Monday, one of the nurse's stopped us and told us that dad had told her he was sorry for the way he had been acting and it really wasn't the way that he was. I found that comforting. I will write much more later.
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